From the desk of Lori Aufderhar, Summit’s Director of Operations/Retirement Coach:
Quit feeding the monsters of:
All of the above monsters must be fed to keep them alive. Ways we feed the monsters:
- Replaying a situation over and over again in your head
- Telling others about it. Each person you tell feeds the monster. Every time you tell the story, you feed the monster.
- Ingesting into your mind movies, music, and books that have negative content – whatever makes you feel bad when your see or hear it.
Instead, when you catch yourself adding fuel to the fire, shift your thoughts to:
- Something positive
- Gratitude about the situation. Every dark cloud has a silver lining – focus on that instead.
- Gratitude for everyone involved in the situation. Every person involved has something we can appreciate even when a situation clouds over it.
- Watch what you give your attention to by reading, listening, or watching something uplifting.
Remember to be mindful of your thoughts and feelings and how this plays into how you are showing up with those around you. Many times the people in our lives have no idea about the stories we play in our heads. Those stories might not even be true, yet we believe them. Those stories are based on negativity and fear, and are often based on what we think should be, even if the other person involved has no idea. When the rule you put in place, such as “they should call me once per week”, is violated, you can get mad and they have no idea they broke an expectation. Also remember that your expectation is yours, not their obligation.